I came home at midnight smelling like beer and my parents didn't care.

This is the first step down a dark path...not!!

So I made a big deal about coming home smellin' like beer because I think it's hilarious, but the truth is I hate the stuff. I'll never start drinking, not even if my wife, kids, and dog leave me lol

What really happened was service. This is fiesta month here in San Antonio and my church youth group serves the community by bringing chairs for people to sit on while the parade marches by. Don't think too good of me, as I just came along because it sounded fun, the real service was done by the people who organized this project. So I missed the set-up part of the project, but I got to have the pleasure of clearing the street of chairs before the terrifying streetsweeper wreaked havoc upon them. We had twenty minutes to clear out 560 metal chairs before they became part of the mass of garbage that blanketed the gutters like rivers on a rainy day. Beer cans were EVERYWHERE, and I was up to my ankles in trash and beer and God knows what else...

I had to actually put my hands in the stuff so that I could detach the cables securing our property so that we could pack it all up in a trailer. We finished around 11, but our adventure had only just begun. On our way out, our designated driver backed up into a dumpster while trying to get into a steady stream of cars who wouldn't let us leave. Then when we finally did get on the road, we got stuck on this ramp thing on which we moved about every 5 minutes.

While we say their waiting, two motorcyclists pulled up behind us and these guys had to be the worlds drunkest idiots. They began singing and honking and screaming and revving their engines, I was sortof expecting a fight when a guy and his girlfriend drove up next to them on HIS bike. But the knife-wound scars on that man's arm must have been good enough of a hint, even for these dorks, to back down because they became silent very suddenly.

As a result of my praying for my life that the drunken people didn't kill me, I made it safely back to homebase. Phew!

When I walked in I said hey Mom, hey Dad, and I got up real close to both of them...they didn't notice a thing. "How was it?" my mom asked. "Not bad," I said "I'm a bit tired though." At this point I was intentionally slurring my speech and subtly swaying so as to pop the question, "ERIK, WHY DO YOU SMELL LIKE BEER?!" But it never came, and I finally asked my Mom to take a sniff of my cloths, but it was in vain for all she said was, "You smell weird."

Now, don't get me wrong kids, this does NOT mean your parents don't know what beer smells like, it just happens that mine don't, but I'm glad of that. My parents have always been very temperate and I have had a happy life at home because of it. What you should take away from this is a smile and a knowledge that alcohol makes people dumb...so don't drink it! Duh!